Disclaimer: Rant

It has been quite a whirlwind these past few days trying to get my prenatal care transferred to a caregiver. The whole process has made me learn that Maryland and Washington DC are not the best places to have a baby. I thought Illinois was difficult, but Maryland is worse.

Last week, I met with some wonderful midwives who work independently providing home births for women in Maryland. After speaking with them, I discovered that Maryland has actually made it illegal for CPMs and LMs to assist in home births. The reason for this is that you must be a "licensed" midwife to assist in a home birth, and Maryland will only license CNMs (Certified Nurse Midwives). Apparently only 26 states currently license CPMs, Washington being one of them (go Washington!). Anyway, so if you have a home birth with a CPM, in order to get a birth certificate, you must sign a document certifying that you had an unassisted birth. So infuriating on so many levels. Consider the un-insured pregnant woman in Maryland. Her options are basically as follows:
1. No prenatal care an an emergency room delivery
2. No prenatal care and an unassisted birth
3. Pay out of pocket for the astronomically high fees for a hospital birth (It's worthwhile to note that if the woman could afford a hospital birth, she could probably afford insurance)
4. Pay a midwife out of pocket and lie to the government about having an unassisted birth.

How are these good options? I totally feel like it is my right to labor how, where, and with whomever I choose. How is it fair for the state government to dictate my birth experience to this extent? And as Chris points out, how is it legal to get an abortion (in many cases partial-birth abortions), and yet not legal for a woman to choose how she gives birth?

Anyway, so on goes the search. Luckily, I have insurance, so we do have limited options, albeit home birth isn't one of them. There actually is a lovely birth center with CNMs who also do the home birth option for women in the DC Metro area. However, because they are so in demand in this area, their waiting list is a mile long. For a prenatal care transfer like me, this unfortunately is not possible. There is also a birth center in DC with CNMs, but they will not take transfers past 30 weeks, even with regular prenatal care. Maddening!

Since I had exhausted all the home birth/birth center options, my next task was to look for midwives who operate in hospitals, which actually isn't very common in the DC area. I did find a midwife group close to where I live, but they can't fit me in until late July! Thwarted again!

So, now I am searching for Ob-gyns who are natural birth-friendly in the metro area. And it is very discouraging to read posts on blogs and websites where people say an Ob who supports natural childbirth is an oxy-moron in the DC area. I have even read that there are Obs in the area who refuse to take on Bradley method women.

In the meantime, I have scheduled an appointment with an ob-gyn just so I can keep up with my regular prenatal visits. I'm hoping and praying that either something will turn up, or that I will have an easy birth experience. I am really not looking forward to battling doctors over giving me pitocin or a cesarean. However, I guess I will have gotten my money's worth out of our Bradley classes, since they prepare you specifically for an un-medicated hospital birth.

Whew! Sorry for the tirade, but it is very upsetting to get your hopes up for a certain birth experience, only to realize that you can't have that experience.

To end on an unrelated and happy note, we are pretty much finished with moving in (except for the baby's room) and I will have pictures of our fun little apartment soon. :)

Baby Shower!

Julianna, Andrea, and Becca threw me an awesome baby shower. I wish I could have gotten pictures of Julianna's beautiful table decor, because it really was lovely. We had a great time and it was so nice to see so many people there that I hadn't seen in a long time. Thanks to everyone for a great shower!






I am 32 weeks now, but this is my picture for 31 weeks (end of 7th month). Two more months to go!

This week I met the midwife (Laura Hamilton) who I would have worked with had we been staying in Washington for the baby. She did my checkup and she was awesome. So sad that I will not get to work with her. She was so nice to meet and did a little ultrasound to see the baby's position. She already could tell from feeling my belly that he was head down, but the ultrasound confirmed it. He's in an awesome position and is measuring right on schedule. My blood pressure even registered nice and low, which is awesome, as it had been steadily rising the past couple of months. So, everything looks great and we are in the home stretch. It is crazy to me that we only have 8 weeks left.

At this point, I am not ready to have this baby come out. As much preparation as I've had, childbirth is still a bit of scary prospect. It's hard to be so confident when all you hear all your life is that chidlbirth is the most painful thing you will ever go through. And there's also a certain amount of security knowing that Peter is safe in my belly where I can control everything about his environment (assuming I'm healthy and my body's working well). The prospect of giving up that control is a little scary.

During the past week I've definitely gotten to the uncomfortable part of pregnancy with being short of breath and sleeping badly and heartburn. Evidently I'm not uncomfortable enough though, because I still want Peter to stay put for now. I have read about lots of women who deliver at 32 weeks and I'm just hoping that I can get to full term. I think when Chris and I are finally together again, then I will feel a little bit more relaxed having him with me.

Speaking of Chris, he and his Dad are moving into our apartment tomorrow. It has been a long process for the two of them and I'm so grateful to them for all their hard work. I am sorry not to be of any help at this point, but kind of relieved all at the same time because of how physically uncomfortable I am. I am so excited to see our new little apartment, though. And I get to see my husband in just a few short days!! It will have been three weeks and two days that we have not seen each other, and I hope we will never have to separate for this long ever again. It's been great spending time with family here and I will miss them when I go, but I'm ready to be with my husband again.

27 Weeks

Here I am at the beginning of my third and final trimester. It's hard to believe that I will get bigger than this. Sometimes I feel like my belly feels so tight from all the stretching that it couldn't possibly stretch anymore. And then the feeling passes only to happen again a week or two later. It's a very fun stage to be feeling and seeing Peter's movement and growth.

Now that I'm in the third trimester, the close proximity of birth is really hitting home. I can hardly believe that we'll get to meet our son in just three months. For a first time mom, I'm feeling plenty of excitment mixed with anxiety. Parenthood is such a big responsibility and I really worry about doing a good job. I know we don't have to be perfect parents; but as a parent, you're basically responsible for the well-being of your child to help them grow to be good people. No pressure there!

There have been some major changes in our birth plans. Chris was offered a better position at the Office of Personnel Management in Washington DC, so he has taken that position instead. So, instead of a nice, leisurely summer in Washington state, he gets to start work immediately after his finals in June. So, I essentially had to decide between being with my family in Washington, and being with my husband for my last trimester and birth. I decided that I didn't want to deal with being without Chris for that long, and I wanted to make sure that he was there to welcome our son into the world. So, I will stay for a month in Washington with my family, and then have the baby in DC. It will be a very busy last trimester of pregnancy, but I'm looking forward to it, and I'm glad to at least spend a little bit of time with family. Hopefully I will be able to make it out to Washington a few weeks after Peter is born to introduce him to his Norhtwest family.

In the meantime, a search for another midwife is underway...

Home Birth

I was finally able to find a midwife in Washington who had enough room to fit me in. I am really looking forward to having a midwife, especially as a first birth experience. It will be nice to have someone knowledgable who will be able to be there constantly and not have to leave the room to check on other patients. Chris is just happy that he won't have to argue with any doctors wanting to give me pitocin or an IV.

I'm relieved not to have to go to a hospital, because I feel that hospitals are for people who are either sick or injured. Childbirth, where the woman and baby are healthy, doesn't fit into the "sick or injured" category. I think doctors tend to view childbirth as a medical emergency, which is sad. I realize I'm a little biased though. The downside to all this natural birth preparation and education is that it makes you afraid of OBs and hospitals. Most of the hospital stories I've read are about women who ended up getting unecessary cesareans. But I need to give doctors a little credit--after all, all of my sisters-in-law (on my side) have had hospital births, and none have had c-sections. So I probably shouldn't be so squeamish about it. I am grateful that hospitals are there for when there are complications. All the same, I am still relieved to avoid the whole hospital experience, and hopefully all will go well to keep it that way.

I am very excited about my midwife. I emailed yesterday asking if she was available and she called me last night to talk to me, so that was great. I'm so used to the hospital run-around, and it was so nice to be able to speak to her and set things up so quickly. She is very experienced and has attended over 3,000 births since 1983, so that is pretty cool. I think that is pretty close to Ina May (for those of you who've read her book)! She offers both home births and births at her own facility with a jacuzzi for waterbirths. The jacuzzi is tempting, but I will probably go with the home birth. My parents have graciously agreed to this plan, as we will be staying with them in Washington.

I think it will be a nice experience and I am looking forward to being in such a comfortable environment. After all, when I'm uncomfortable, I'd rather be at home anyway. And it will be nice to have my mom there with me, too. It will be great to share this experience with people I love and trust in an envrionment where I can feel totally relaxed. I can't wait!

Baltimore

Hooray! Chris got a job! Two years ago, we would never have imagined that we would end up in Baltimore, and it's also a surprise to us that Chris won't be a lawyer. He will actually be taking a position with the Social Security Administration as a budget analyst. They seemed happy that he had a law and public policy background, and we feel very blessed to have been given this opportunity. I think he would have done a great job in law, but we are both really grateful that he'll have a 9 to 5 job instead of a 60-80 hour work week at a law firm. It is definitely a big pay difference, but I very much enjoy time with my husband and I think I would have gone crazy having him gone so much. So this works out great for me! Thanks to everyone for their faith and prayers on our behalf. We feel very much that we have been led to this position.

Chris will start on September 16th, which will hopefully give us a little relaxation after the baby comes to spend with friends and family in Washington.

Speaking of the baby, we have a new baby bump picture for 23 weeks. I missed the 5 month mark, and so I'm already well into the 6th, but oh well. I know some women feel like they look fat with the baby bump, but I've gotta say that I'm loving it. Everything seems to be going great. Peter is proving to be a very active little boy. He gives me lots of kicks and nudges throughout the day. I think he's gonna give me a run for my money!

We've been having fun with our Bradley method classes. Our Bradley instructor is very mellow and pragmatic, which is really quite perfect for Chris and myself. The classes are quite comprehensive and they also emphasize nutrition, which is nice. The hard part for me is getting adequate protein. They recommend 80 grams of protein per day, which is a lot for me! I'm used to getting between 50 and 60 grams, and it's hard to fit in that extra 20-30 every day. I'm hoping that my anticipated appetite increase in the third trimester will help me to get 80 grams more comfortably. It seems quite important to get in lots of protein. Harvard did a study that found that in women who consistently had 80 grams of protein per day, there were NO instances of toxemia/preeclampsia. So, 80 grams it is!

Baby Boy

We had our structural ultrasound today. It was very exciting for the most part. What I wasn't expecting was the pain and discomfort. My back was killing me from laying down flat after only a few minutes. Then I started feeling nauseated and overheated and lightheaded. I felt like such a wimp for asking for a break, but the technician was very polite. She said that it happens to a lot of women because the baby puts pressure on the spine and arteries. She gave me a wet towel and let me sit up for a minute and then lay on my side for the rest of the time, which made all the difference. So, after that, I was finally able to enjoy the experience of seeing our baby for the first time. It's been an exciting time for Chris too, because he felt the baby move for the first time last night. Not bad for only 20 weeks along! So much fun!

This is pretty much the whole baby from the side. After all the measurements, they said his due date was August 4th. My date based on ovulation was the 6th, so we're not too far off base.

This is the baby's leg and foot. Chris was happy that the baby had two legs and two arms and no horns or wings. He is a bit of a worrywart!

This is the baby's first head shot. The tech gave us about five pictures of his face for some reason. I'm pretty sure you can't tell at this point who he looks like, so I'm not sure why five of ten pictures is necessary, but oh well.

Another head shot. They did not give us the shot showing the gender, but we are most definitely having a boy. Chris actually spotted that he was a boy early on, but I didn't realize until she pointed it out at the end--I think I was a little distracted from the discomfort until the second half. Anyway, I guess I have not been remiss in referring to the baby as "he" and "him" for the past two weeks. I can't honestly say that I had any intuition about it. I was basing it solely on the data from our fertility charting. I'm not even sure how reliable this is, but it was right in this case at least. So, Peter it will be. We are so excited!

It is so amazing to think that our bodies can create and carry babies. It's a wonderful experience, at least for the moment. Not so wonderful in the first trimester, and maybe won't be wonderful in the third, but I'm really liking the second!

Visit to Ankeny

Last weekend we took a trip out to Chris' parents house. Chris had an interview in Kansas City, and since Ankeny is only three hours away, we decided to make a weekend trip. We had a very nice time and were amazed by the crazy snowfall! Apparently they have had more snow this year than they've had since 1865! It's a little crazy driving in this, because you can't really see over the snowbanks if you're in a tiny Honda civic. In the picture above, you can barely see the mailbox poking out of the snow.

Okay, here's 17 weeks. I think I look fat rather than pregnant right now, but at least we're making progress! When I wore this shirt for my 13 week picture, the sweater was not pushed out by my belly nearly as much as it is in this picture. It's fun to see.

I also saw my doctor again, and everything's still great. Apparently I'll get to feel the baby kicking soon. Although, I suspect I may have already felt the kicking. It's hard to know if you're feeling it when you don't know what it's supposed to feel like! But, it's all very exciting.

I have scheduled our ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby for March 22nd. Chris and I suspect a boy, but hopefully we'll know soon. We're planning on Peter if it's a boy--we like it especially well since it's not on any top 100 boys name lists.

Speaking of babies, my lovely sister-in-law, Ann, just sent me a great book: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I think all women who are having kids would benefit from reading this book. It really helped me feel so much better about the upcoming birth experience. I feel strangely empowered from reading it, whereas I think I was almost scared silly before reading it. There is some strange hippie stuff in it, but overall it is great! Thanks Ann!!